tired

I guess I am tired, tired of waiting for someone.. for you.. for her..

yet something is still pushing me down, memories, perhaps, yeah moments from you.

but what is missing to my understanding that life can not be dreamed from the past, yet you should be ready to be integrated or to be stored by some book of living seconds on anxiety.

Do I want to revisit the panic of not controlling you? I would not imagine, falling to the hall of pass, when you were living inside me, living me, controlling me